have pants, will travel: Archive

1 tag

Feb 10th

1 note

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Feb 10th

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Feb 9th

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taquito moments

So I just saw this Metafilter thread and have been cracking up over it, which got me to thinking about man-related dealbreakers: My first serious boyfriend snapped at me to go away while he watched Steve Jobs’ 2002 Macworld keynote, as I wasn’t “serious enough about it.” (This was after I’d flown from DC to Tennessee to visit him.) Sadly, we did not break up right...

Feb 9th

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Feb 8th

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Feb 8th

2 notes

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Feb 8th

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Feb 7th

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pearapple replied to your photo: I had major Shaky Pageant Hands while getting this… WHEN WHERE HOW WHY. ALL DETAILS. Nic is a sports memorabilia (among other things) collector, and he haunts announcements of local sports signings to see if anyone he’s interested in is going to be somewhere semi-local. I usually leave him to it, since I’m not into the whole collector thing—my...

Feb 7th

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Feb 6th

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Feb 6th

25 notes

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Feb 6th

2 notes

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Feb 6th

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Feb 2nd

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Feb 1st

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Jan 31st

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Jan 26th

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Jan 24th

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Jan 21st

2 notes

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Jan 12th

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shit that really needs to exist right now

a pill or some other minor, one-shot ingestible that renders my entire body resistant to UV rays. It’s 2012. Why do I still have to grease myself up like I’m swimming the English Channel every time I go outdoors? self-applying nail polish, because while I have a considerable amount of love for those tiny bottles of stinky paint, sometimes I’m just lazy. something that prevents...

Jan 11th

“Andrew Marvell’s poem wherein the ‘remote Bermudas ride in the...”

– I’m fixin’ to throw this book down, put on pants, and drive to Harris Teeter for some goddamn oranges.

Jan 6th

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Jan 2nd

pearapple replied to your photo: MOAR CHRISTMAS NAILS, part deux: I have nearly 300… ohhhhhh i love this! i also wish i could paint my nails as well as you can. I am actually not particularly good at painting my nails - I use a cleanup method I found on the MakeupAlley nail board (warning: this forum is full of hard down nail polish freaks, including myself, and will make me look insane)....

Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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Chelsea P. Cat, sympathetic creature that she is, seems to know when I’ve decided it’s time to tidy up the guest room for my in-laws’ visit tomorrow (oh god oh god OH GOD). She decided to urge me to wait a bit longer by taking a gigantic shit in her litter box, which is a) grossing me out of existence but b) giving me an excuse to avoid the guest room for a few minutes. Nice job,...

Dec 22nd

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I apologize in advance for this

but my husband doesn’t understand why I want to decorate for Christmas, since his mother hates Christmas, and she’s going to be here this weekend. (FYI: if you hate Christmas, my house is the last place on earth you need to be.)

Dec 19th

As anybody who’s known me for more than forty seconds could attest, I love my husband. Extravagantly so. Yes, I know, spouses love their spouses, but I seriously adore and respect him. I’d help him hide a body if he needed me to, and if anyone hurts him, I will totally RUIN THEIR SHIT. More importantly, I just like him. So can someone, anyone, tell me why it’s a fucking federal...

Dec 18th

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Dec 15th

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Dec 12th

2 notes

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Dec 2nd

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Being married to someone who’s immunocompromised truly sucks, y’all. Not only does he get every damn cold, flu, fever, and case of shingles (seriously) that comes down the pike, but he then gives them all to me. Well, except the shingles. I can’t even rightly make fun of him, since it’s not, like, his fault that a case of swine flu exploded into a horrific bout of...

Nov 29th

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wherein I can't deal with reality television (long...

So whenever Nic and I are bored/there’s no football on/feel lazy about cleaning, we watch an episode or two of Hoarders. I only saw my first episode of the show last month when we were moving, and I figured at some point I was going to see something that hit a nerve badly enough to turn it off. I’m not sure why I do this to myself, but mission accomplished. Y’see, my mom was a...

Nov 28th

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