short and possibly insane list of items I am hand-carrying when we move, as I don’t trust anyone else with them

• entire 300+ bottle nail polish collection
• tattered blanky that I’ve had since birth
• autographed picture of Peyton Manning, which I got in person and in stupefied silence, since any words would have come out as “I love you and want to have all of your babies”
• Lexapro, since HOLY FUCK THIS WHOLE BUSINESS IS MAKING ME TWITCHY.