shit that really needs to exist right now

• a pill or some other minor, one-shot ingestible that renders my entire body resistant to UV rays. It’s 2012. Why do I still have to grease myself up like I’m swimming the English Channel every time I go outdoors?
• self-applying nail polish, because while I have a considerable amount of love for those tiny bottles of stinky paint, sometimes I’m just lazy.
• something that prevents me from becoming hungry 45 seconds after I brush my teeth at night, because what the fuck?